


Maybe

by PresidentMcKinley



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cats, Dogs, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2018-10-07 21:37:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10369995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PresidentMcKinley/pseuds/PresidentMcKinley
Summary: All work and no play makes Therese a dull girl. But thanks to the mysterious Carol Aird her life will turn upside down. :D





	1. Chapter 1

Work – Sleep – Repeat. Work – Sleep – Repeat.

Simple. Straight Forward. Uncomplicated.

 

My job for the magazine that I am working for requires me to always fly to exotic and remote places to capture the perfect shot of animals in their true habitat – I’m a wildlife photographer. I have spent half of my adult life in the jungles of Amazon, Africa and Asia trying to capture the nakedness and pureness of the different majestic animals in the wild; while the other half was spent running away from them to save my own feeble life. But as hard as I try to dodge all the enormous teeth and claws, I always end up with the most dangerous of them all – humans.

In my five years working with the magazine I have been living in different jungles but the closest to my heart is a concrete jungle called New York. In the middle of the wilderness of this magnificent city I have found solace in my 2 bedroom apartment, in which I get to go home to every 4 months. I will be able to stay for only about a month before I go on to another project in another continent. It’s not a shabby apartment and it is not that swanky too but I can honestly say that I can afford a better apartment than this one. Visiting different parts of the world exposed and opened my eyes in the poverty that you can never dream of – that is how I learned to appreciate everything that I have in life. Some may say that I am frugal but I would like to think of myself as economical and besides I am barely home and whenever I am in, I spend my time sleeping alone on my bed.

That’s why I let my best friend, Dannie, crash in my place so that he can take care of it whenever I’m gone. We’ve been friends since college – he was an English major while I was majoring in Photography. I first met him in a party through Phil, his brother and who was also my partner in one of our photog class, and it is safe to say that, Dannie and I hit it off right away. He is now a junior editor for the New York Times, it may not pay as much as I am earning as a Nature Photog but I know that he is going to slowly climb up that ladder to the top office. That kid got talent, y’know.

But as much as I love my work with the magazine, I know that in the near future that I will eventually get drained from all the crazy deadlines, hectic and tight schedules, the near death experiences (oh yes, I have lots of them and they usually involves cats) and most of all, I will definitely get tired of travelling in such a FAST pace.

That is why I partnered up with Dannie and Phil, and opened our studio 3 years ago. The years of my perseverance and mostly staying in almost every weekend finally paid off when I got to open my own photography studio for pets. Yes, you heard that right. Even in my day offs from the magazine, I still take pictures of animals. But being away for most of the time, I’ve let Phil, being a photography major as well, be the one who manage the day-to-day business while I, on-the-other-hand, would like to think of myself as a back burner or a “financier” on this matter. But ofcourse, I always see to it, whenever I’m in the city, that I’ll be included in the rotation list for the manning of the counter of our little studio.   

As I said earlier, Work – Sleep – Repeat. Work – Sleep – Repeat. Simple. Straight Forward. Uncomplicated.

It was the third day of my month break before heading out to Thailand to follow a herd of elephants when I manned the studio alone for the whole day. I’ve spent my first two days on the bed sleeping and eating pizza while binge watching my favorite TV show “Community” and I felt the need to go out of my room.

I was the only one at the studio because Phil and Mrs. Robichiek, our receptionist, took a day off. Phil hesitated at first saying that it doesn’t feels right to leave me all alone in a weekday during my break, I assured him that I can take care of myself and waved the rather blank list of appointments for that Tuesday except for one who was scheduled for the 8pm. But despite the blank list, it has become a rather busy day. It suddenly feels like all of the pet owners in New York weirdly wanted to have photos of their pets be taken at the same day. Pets after pets, snaps after snaps. Dogs and Cats. Cats and Dogs.

It was pass nine in the evening when I finished the session of our last walk-in client with her black Siamese cat – who gave me a rather hard time and numerous scratches. In all the stuff that I have done in this past five years, I’m sure I’ve learned one thing – Cats hate me. Either wild or domesticated – somehow they wanted to rip my flesh out of my body. I don’t know if I just smell so delicious for cats or I just smell like tuna to them. I don’t know.

I thanked the customer as I walk them to the door and silently thank god when I was able to close door behind me to call it a night. Before heading out for dinner I was enjoying a big fat “cigarette” inside the manager’s office, or should I say Phil’s office, that I have been craving since 6pm to relax my body after a long day of work when I heard the front door opened.

_Shit. I thought I locked that door?_

“Sorry. We’re closed. Come back tomorrow!” I shouted as I took another big puff from my “cigarette” not bothering to even take a peek of the person standing in the lobby.

As I was trying to hold the smoke inside my lungs, I heard the bell on the counter being repeatedly banged making me lose my focus and cough my heart out. 

“We’re closed. Come back tomorrow please!” I managed to shout in between my heart wrenching, lung ripping coughs.

“I have an appointment” I heard a woman’s sultry voice shout back at me as a reply.

Hearing her reply I subconsciously raised an eyebrow and curiously looked at the copy of the appointment list on my hand while still trying to subside my coughs. Oh boy, that really hit the spot I’m telling you.

 _She must be the 8 pm who failed to show up. I guess I just have to reschedule her._ I thought as I looked at the list. I placed my “cigarette” on my ash tray, which was made from a sliced tin can of soda, and head outside to face the client.

Before I could enter the premises of the lobby the smell of burgers and fries immediately hit my senses making my mouth water and making my stomach’s growls stronger.

_Okay, you just need to focus in the re-scheduling thing Therese. Alright? After that, we’ll finish your “cigarette” and eat a whole box of pizza… **But I want some chicken…** Okay, we’ll order chicken instead of pizza… **And burgers too?** Yes and burgers too. Now go be a normal adult and resched the client!_

After that pathologically weird conversation in my head, I mustered up all my “adultness” and marched inside the lobby but I was not prepared with the sight that was waiting for me. An out-of-the-world hot middle aged blonde was waiting for me by the counter, one of her hands was placed on her slender waist while the other was busy tapping impatiently on the surface of the counter. She was just wearing a gray hoodie and a yoga pants, which fits perfectly to her toned mile-long legs, and yet she was as elegant as a tigress on the wild waiting for the right time to devour her prey. But she was wearing a dark sunglasses in the middle of the night inside. What a weird thing to do.

 “I have an appointment” she said impatiently.

_Weird. Who wears a sungla---_

_“_ I said that I have an appointment” the blonde repeated breaking my train of thought.

“Oh. Name?” I managed to utter while staring at her mouth, trying real hard to catch every words that she’s about to say. But she instead of saying her name she just gave me a meaningful smirk – which I don’t know the meaning to.

 “Your name?” I asked again, “Please?” I added with emphasis and to my surprise, I saw the blonde raised one of her eyebrows behind the large glasses taking a peek and saying hello to me. The eyebrows I mean. Then in one swift graceful gesture she took off her sunglasses and unleashed the piercing and beautiful grey eyes that I have ever seen that I literally gasped for air.

“Voila! Well?” she said lifting one of her hand with full of airiness as if she just unveiled a magic act.

“Ahm.. Well..” I cleared my throat “What a cool way to remove your sunglasses but I still need your name”

At this moment, as if realizing something she suddenly shook her head and chuckled.

“Okay, enough kidding around. Where’s Phil? I have an appointment with him” she said.

“Phil’s not in. I’m in charge. I need your name to resched your appointment” I said robotically as I was staring at her with my mouth watery not because of her but because of the smell of the burger and fries somewhere. I don’t know how long I can last this torture – having to smell wonderful food and not able to do something about it.

She squinted her eyes and challenged me to a staring showdown which I gladly accepted. I was so out of it, that all I can see in her eyes was a spinning burger.

“Call him” she finally said breaking her gaze at me.

 _I won!_ I thought.  

“Call Phil. And tell _Carol Aird_ is here for her appointment”

 _Carol Aird_ I repeated on my brain.

 _Carol Aird_ I thought that it sounded perfect.

 _Carol Aird_ as if I was made just to repeatedly call her name.

 _Carol_ repeating her name over and over again weirdly gives me pleasure.

_Caro—_

“Yes, Carol Aird!” she suddenly blurted out

“See! It’s not that hard!”

“What??” she looked bewildered.

“Telling me your name! It’s not that hard!” I looked at her with a pout and slowly shook my head. I saw her scoffed before she said;

“Just. Call. Him.” it was more like a growl and I was sure that hit the spot and annoyed her. I got worried that I managed to irritate her in such a short span of time but seeing her take a long deep sharp breath as if she’s trying not to kill me, made me scared of her.

“Okay.”

She just shrugged me off and gracefully, as if I was not annoying her, she removed some strands of her hair away from her face.

Suddenly fearing for my own life, I immediately dialed Phil’s number on my phone.

_Pick up. Pick up. Pick up._

I repeatedly prayed in my head while I was listening to monotonous ringing on the other line. After a while he eventually picked up the phone.

“Phil!” I shouted as I was clinging dearly on my phone as if my life depended on it. Well at that moment, it really felt that my life depended on that phone call.

“Therese, are you okay? What happened?” Phil said.

“Phil. Listen. A _Carol Aird_ is here for her appointment” it was my first time I was able to say here name and it was kind of erotic for me. (It still is! Wink wink)

“WHAT?! OH SHIT! I FORGOT!” Phil shouted at the phone.

_What the hell is going on here?_

 “I’m going to reschedule her on –hmmm—let’s see—Thursday, 6 pm!”

_I just want to get over this and have my juicy burgers._

“THERESE NO!”

“Phil, calm do---“

“YOU DON’T RESCHEDULE CAROL AIRD! EVER! JESUS CHRIST!”

“PHIL! WHAT THE FU---“ I was supposed to give Phil a piece of my mind about his shouting when suddenly Carol snatched the phone my hands.

“Phil. It’s me” Carol said on the phone while pacing back and forth the lobby.

I can faintly hear Phil saying his apologies to her while Carol was just nodding her head as a response.

_He should be apologizing to me too!_

“Okay, listen Phil” Carol commanded, “It’s okay. But I don’t think I can resched. I just have to push through with tonight. Where are you? Can you come here? What? It’s alright. I understand. Well, can she take pictures? Really?? _Huh._ Okay. Thank you. Oh one more thing! I just think that you should know that she’s high as a kite right now. The girl here. Yes. Your whole studio smells like Bob Marley and I heard her arguing with herself about fries and burgers. Hahaha. I can also hear thoughts too, believe it or not.  It was indeed very refreshing.  Alright then.  Good bye!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And oh, I forgot to tell you guys, Therese is a pot head too! ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One screaming Carol please!

_Hear my thoughts? How the fuck can she do that? Is she a psychic?_

  
She scoffed as she was giving me back my mobile.

  
_Oh my god. You can really my mind don’t you?_

  
I was staring at her wide eyed with my mouth open wide when I noticed that she was trying her best not to smile.

  
 _Say “Vava Boom” if you can read my mind_ …

  
“OKAY!” Carol Aird’s booming voice sent chills down my spine.

  
“Therese – Right? Can I call you Therese? I’ll call you Therese. Before we start, let us first clear the air within your office or studio… whatever you call this place.” she said as she was casually waving her hand up in the air.

  
“Okay…” I nodded my head as a reply, waiting for her to continue but instead she was looking back at me with bewilderment written on her face. An unwelcomed silence suddenly enveloped the both us in the room. As we were staring back at each other I suddenly had this feeling that I’ve seen this Carol Aird somewhere before, I just can’t seem to pinpoint when and where but I was positive that I’ve seen her.

  
“I mean to _literally_ clean the air. Can you pop open a window? It is stuffy in here --- It is enough that one of us is _blazed_.”

  
”Blazed?” I dumbly repeated.

  
“Yes, blazed. Isn’t what you kids call getting high these days? _Blazed, stoned, lit, baked-_ \-- I can go on and on but I’m afraid that we have much more important thing to do” she raised her eyebrows at me as if she’s challenging me to do or to say something.

  
“And saying “ _Vava boom_ ” out loud won’t prove that I am a psychic---” she added with a playful smirk.

  
“HOLY FUUU----“ I abruptly took a step back while cupping my mouth with my eyes wide open because of shock.

  
“--- Jesus Christ. You are thinking out loud Therese!” then she let out a throaty laugh. It was probably the most magnificent laugh that I have ever heard before but knowing that she was laughing at me really annoyed my nerves.

  
“COME ON!” I exasperated.

  
It took a little longer than I expected but when she stopped laughing and somewhat gathered herself together, I held her gaze and squinted my eyes as I was trying to study her make up less face to figure out where I’ve seen her before.

  
“Therese? The window?” she said breaking my train of thought.

  
“Oh yeah”   
I snappily walked towards the window by the main door and was about to popped it open when I noticed that it begun to snow outside. Thinking of the cold air that was about to invade the warmness of the room made me shudder…

  
“Are you sure? You are just wearing a hoodie…” I looked back at Carol Aird who was staring at me with a big question mark on her face.

  
“It will be terribly cold…” I added.  
She just nodded her head to me as a reply. I took a deep breath and went on with the task. The moment I opened the window the cold and icy air immediately kissed my face making me sober, breathless and shivering.

  
I hate the cold. My oldest memory from my childhood is me sitting by the fireplace, bundled up with several layers of blanket but was still shivering uncontrollably during Christmas Eve while Sister Alicia and the others giddily open donated presents. Even merely thinking about winter or Christmas makes me catch pneumonia or hypothermia. That is why, as much as I love Penguins and Sea Lions, I always decline a project that requires me to deal with cold weather. So in my five years working as a Nature photog, I always see to it that I can escape the harsh coldness that New York’s winter can offer by going to a tropical and exotic locations for an official business but this means that I have to spend the Holidays away from my loved ones. Though this year was different, Dannie insisted that I should stay for the holidays and of course I contended and made some rebuttal statements. But then he argued that I can always turn up the heat in our apartment and office whenever I feel a slightest touch of cold on my skin which actually made sense. So there I was silently cursing while letting the cold and icy winter air invade my space and body.

  
I walked back behind the counter with my mood as low as the temperature, and faced the current bane of my existence who was standing right in front of me.

  
“Much better” she flashed me a warm smile that if I was in a better head space, that smile will surely warm me up big time. But in reality, it was the contrary.

  
“So, Mrs. Aird, where’s your pet?” I asked her using my professional tone. She may have sensed that I was on my professional mode, she squinted her eyes and looked thoroughly on my face before answering,

  
“It’s still inside my car. I’m parked right outside” Carol said while pointing outside. She was blocking my view to the street so I slowly moved my head to the side and took a peep outside. I faintly saw a black two door Mercedes Benz parked, very poorly if I must say, on the curb in front of the store.

  
“Well, aren’t you going to get it?” I asked her,

  
“No…” she looked down and added “I was hoping that you will get it for me” started shifting her weight and playing with her bracelet.

  
A sudden cold air breezed through, slapping my exposed skins with its unforgiving iciness making me grit my teeth.

  
“Alright” it came out a little harsh and I saw her flinched, “let me just get my coat”.

  
As I was slowly retreating back to the office to get my coat, I heard her say something but I was too focused in bundling up that I didn’t mind her. Back in the office, I saw that my “cigarette” was already done and the regrets automatically flood me. It felt so bad that only the made-shift ash tray was the one that thoroughly enjoyed that high class blunt that cost me $60. Sighing, I made my way to the coat rack and started to bundle up. I first wore a wool sweater over my button down shirt, then I put a beanie on my head followed by my gloves and lastly my black thermal parka.

  
As I made my way back to the lobby, the smell of fast food once again greeted me like an old friend. I heard my stomach rumbled and cursed the cold silently. When I entered the lobby, I saw Carol pacing back and forth the floor nervously, she only stopped when she noticed that I was back.

  
“Why do you look like that you’re going to climb Mt. Everest?” she said teasingly.

  
Tired, fed up, and cold, I looked down on my feet as I mustered all my remaining strength to stop myself from snapping at this “very important” customer.

  
“No” I told her dejectedly with a sigh.  
“Are you alright Therese?” hearing her voice full of concern made me look up to her. I was surprised to see that her grey eyes were worriedly looking at me  
“Are you feeling okay?” she repeated.   
“Can we just go get your pet?” was my dismissive reply.   
“Okay” I saw her stiffen before heading to the door.

Outside, I noticed that the weather got worse in just a short period of time. It was windy and the snow was pilling up fast. I went straight to the door of the passenger seat expecting that the dog or cat or whatever pet Carol Aird has was comfortably waiting inside the car. So I was a little surprised when Carol went directly behind the car and popped open the trunk.

  
“You kept your pet in your trunk? What the hell!” I exasperatedly said as I buried my hands even further inside my pocket, keeping it from the cold wind away as possible, and walked towards her. I took a look in the trunk and saw a shoebox with little holes on top and sealed shut by a rather huge amount of duct tape. Curiosity immediately filled my senses and I just stood there looking at the box.

  
“Well, are we just going to freeze out here or you’re going to pick that box up?” Carol said with a playful smile on her face.

  
“Okay okay. Jeez”  
I picked up the fairly light weighted shoe box and almost ran inside the lobby for my much needed heat. I placed the box on a table inside the lobby and hurriedly closed the window that I opened. 

  
“Hurry! I want to close the door!” I yelled at Carol who was taking her time in getting back inside the studio. And when she finally reached the lobby I immediately closed the door shut.

  
"Let's take a look at this pet of yours then" I finally managed to utter between my chattering teeth. Then I saw Carol still looking warm with her hoodie and yoga pants, as if she's Elsa the Ice queen who's very comfortable with the cold.

  
"What's inside of this?" I asked when I reached for the box. Instead of answering me, she remained silent and subconciously chewed her thumb. I continued with the task of trying to open the box but the several layers of duct tape made it seem like too impossible to achieve. While doing it, my thought keeps on guessing what animal could be the pet of Carol Aird. Obviously it was not possible that it can be a cat or a dog, my guess was it's hamster or maybe a guinea pig. The thought of unveiling the mystery made me feel both anxious and excited that i literally wanted to rip the box open. After struggling, I managed to take all the sticky grey tape in what feels like 10mintues.

  
"Please be careful" warned Carol before taking a step back away from the box when I was about to lift the lid off. I really can sense her fear behind her facade of composure.

  
Feeling the adrenaline slowly seeping through my veins, I lift the cover up and was completely surprised to see what's inside the box. It was a black and white milk snake.

  
"Oh my god!" I almost yelled because of utter surprise and excitement.

  
"Shit shit. Put the lid back on! Fuck! I should have just resched my appointment! I didn't know that you are not up for it. Phil told me that you can handle THAT thing! Oh god. If you can just put the cover back on that will be lovely..." I can hear Carol's rumbling behind me but I was so entranced with the creature in front of me that I immediately lifted it up from the box and held it then waved it in front of Carol's face.

  
"Oh dear lord!!" I saw her ran away and settled to the farthest corner of the room away from me.

  
"What's going on?" I asked her bewildered with her actions. I walked closer towards her.

  
"Don't let that thing go near me!!!!" She shrieked.

  
"What? This is your pet right?"  
"Nooooo!!!!!" She screamed when I took one step closer to her.  
"What?!"  
"I mean, no that is not mine. That is Oreo. That's Rindy's pet!"  
"Oh" amused with the scene unfolding right before my eyes "Well I think Rindy is pretty badass to have a pet like Oreo right here" I cooed at the animal in my hands.

  
"I've never touched that vermin and I intend not to change that. So if you just dont let it near me that would be perfect" said Carol who just lost her coolness by standing on the sofa in our lobby and trying to distance herself from me.

  
"Shhh... No you're not a vermin Oreo. Don't listen to her" I cooed at Oreo who's comfortably coiled at my hand, "Why dont you just look at him Carol? He's a magnificent creature!" I extended my hand towards Carol.

  
"THERESE!!! IM GOING TO KILL YOU IF YOU LET THAT THING NEAR ME!!!!" she screamed of death while trying her best to dodge Oreo on my hand by running around the lobby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta da! Hope you liked it!


	3. Chapter 3

"THERESE!!! IM GOING TO KILL YOU IF YOU LET THAT THING NEAR ME!!!!" she screamed of death while trying her best to dodge Oreo on my hand by running around the lobby.

Dude, I swear, I literally feared for my life in that moment. I literally can see her brain through her flared nostrils. She was growling like a Hyena in heat. She was pacing around the room like a gorilla trying to assert its dominance. Her eyes were alert and heightened like a panther who is just about to strike its unknowing prey.

But despite of her hostile and wild behavior, she was the most majestic creature that I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I know, I’m such a tool for chasing her around with Oreo, and I have no perfect reason nor excuse to explain my fairly rude behavior. I have caused her a great fright that night. And frankly, I still don’t regret it. Bite me.  

Back to the scene, she was hopping from one place to another, trying to dodge us, and by us I mean Oreo and I. She was giving me some flying kicks from the top of the sofa while I was standing right in front of her with Oreo in hand, stretching my hands to her. I was laughing very hard while trying my best to dodge her long legs when suddenly a bright flash of light I saw from outside the window caught and stole away my attention from the dangerous high kicks of this Carol Aird. It must have been the luckiest day of my life or maybe Karma is really real and really fast because the next thing I knew I was staring at her white sneakers in front of me for a split second before it hit my nose.  

Then I heard a small pop from within me signifying a dreaded situation.

“ARRRGGHHHH!” As a reflex, I unknowingly dropped Oreo on the floor and cupped my face, specifically my nose, using my two hands as an effort to stop the unwelcomed pain from travelling throughout my body. It sobered me up immediately.

“FUUUUUCKK!” I yelled when I noticed that my hands were soaked with blood which was apparently from my crooked nose. “YOU BROKE MY NOSE!” I shrieked at the top of my lungs as I looked up to the ceiling, a futile attempt in stopping the blood from dripping.

“Sonofabitch,” I heard her whisper. “Yes, yes! Sonofabitch indeed!” I scoffed at her.

Another flash from outside.

“SONOFABITCH!” she exclaimed before she hurriedly jumped down from the sofa. She marched towards me and I really thought that she going to check on me. Who can blame me? Her face was fucking painted with worry and alarm, and she really looked like she was genuinely concerned about my state. But I was left flabbergasted when she walked passed me and proceed straight to the glass window as if I was a ghost she can’t see.

Flash.

 “Did you see that?” she asked me without tearing her eyes away from the window.

“DID I SEE…” I chuckled sarcastically, losing my mind and patience because of the throbbing pain in my nose. “I CAN’T EVEN SEE MY HAND IN FRONT OF ME BECAUSE OF THIS PAIN!”

“SSSSSHHHHHHH!” she shushed me up immediately without tearing her eyes away from the window.

“DID YOU JUST SHUSHED ME?! YOU CAN’T JUST SHUSH ME UP! YOU BROKE MY FUCKING NO---“ I wasn’t able to finish my sentence because my saliva went in the wrong hole. So, I coughed my lungs out and after a few seconds I realized that it was not my saliva, it was blood. Like an open faucet, blood was continuously dripping from my broken nasal cavity. I was panting like a dog because the only way that I can breathe is through my mouth.

Another flash.

“There!” she suddenly cried, “Did you see that?” she asked again without looking back at me.

“Yes I did see that _lightning_ ,” I replied with a matter of fact tone, “but I’m rather busy here trying not to BLEED TO DEATH!”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic. Broken nose doesn’t lead to death,” she flatly said while, finally, turning around to face me. I was expecting a shock or even a hint of remorse to register on her face when she looked at me but to my dismay and utter annoyance, she gave out a hearty laugh.

I was annoyed as hell. I mean who wouldn’t be? My nose was broken, a throbbing pain was invading my whole system, and I was bleeding like hell. To top it all off, someone was dying from laughter in front of me because of my pitiful state.  

“Laugh all you want. I can sue you, you know?” I sounded like I have a bad case of cold due to my clogged nose.

“You wouldn’t dare,” still chuckling she walked towards me and stopped only when she was standing right in front me. She clumsily cupped my face using her two hands making my swollen face react with shooting pain.

“OUCH! Be careful!” I demanded while shaking my head as an effort to release my face from her grip.

She resisted my futile effort by tightening her clasp to my face and commanded me to stay still. I can feel the anger inside of me was starting to swell, so I closed my eyes and took deep rugged breaths through my mouth to keep my temper in line – after all, she was still a client.

I must have done something in my past life to deserve that night because instead of calming and steadying my nerves, taking deep breaths made my heart beat drastically fast. In some way, her dusky and sweet smelling perfume found its way through my broken nose which was clogged with blood just to cloud all of my senses. To make it worse, I can smell her breath which was a sign that her face was very close to mine. I opened my eyes and the sight of her face so close to mine immediately welcomed me. I was silently thanking all the gods for all the blood smeared on my face because I know that I was blushing like a fucking hormone driven teenager.

“What are you doing?” I asked trying to break the silence for I fear that she’ll be able to hear my racing heart beats, though I was surprised that it came out as a mere whisper. She just shushed me once again as a reply. My knees were wobbly but I know that it isn’t due to pain but due to the close proximity that this Carol Aird and I was sharing. She was seriously examining the damage that she had just done with my face. We were so close that I can see that her eyelashes and grey eyes were still wet with tears from laughing so hard.

“Tsk tsk tsk,” she clicked with her tongue her hands were still cupping my face, “It really is broken but this… this is really nothing.”

I rolled my eyes at her.

“Can you let go of me? I need to go to the hospital. I’ll call Dannie or Phil to ---“

I wasn’t able to finish my sentence because the next thing I know, Carol fucking Aird grabbed my crooked nose using her one hand. She then wiggled it, rather forcefully, back and forth. The pain was indescribable. It was waves of burning, throbbing, all-consuming pain that felt like a life time. But in reality, the wiggling lasted only for less than 2 seconds before I heard a faint popping sound.

 “There,” she stepped back and was wearing a proud smile, “It’s fixed.”

“IT’S FIXED?!” I repeated. I can’t comprehend how unbelievable was the creature in front of me, “ARE YOU INSANE??? HOW THE HELL----“

Once again, I wasn’t able to finish my sentence because I was dumbfounded when I noticed that I was able to finally breathe through my nose again. In addition, I fairly believe that she also stopped the bleeding.

“Better?” she asked still with a smug smile written on her face. “Sit down,” she commanded and like a faithful soldier I followed her order and sat on the sofa.

“Here,” she handed me a small towel that she produced from the pocket of her hoodie. I held on to it and looked at her curiously, still unable to process that fact that she just manually _fixed_ my nose.

“Wipe the blood off of your face. It looked like I murdered you in here,” she chuckled, “Do you have any aspirin?”

She didn’t even wait for my answer, she just marched towards the back of the counter and started to rummage the contents of the drawers. I kept thinking about Mrs. Robichiek who will surely have a fit upon seeing her counter in disarray in the morning. She then entered the back office without asking for permission and I was left with her towel in my nose. The towel smelled like her and I didn’t give it much thought as I was busy cleaning my face from all the blood. Nah, who am I kidding? I was sniffing that “gift from a god” towel like a loyal hound who’s in a mission from his master to stalk and hunt the prized prey. I can hear her open and close several drawers inside the office before I heard her exclaimed, “Aha!”

“Found some aspirin?” I called out to her but instead of an answer I heard a clanking sound of tin cans.

“No. But I found something better,” her voice was muffled and it puzzled me why but I didn’t have much time to dwell on it because she slowly emerged from the dark room into the light of the lobby. When she was in full view I saw here biting my plastic ziplock bag that contains all my blunt with 5 cans of beer in her hands.

“Did you just go through my stuff???” I asked her. I was one hundred percent sure that I left my _stash_ inside my messenger bag.

She just rolled her eyes on me and slumped back beside me. I watched her as she excitedly plunge her hand inside the oversized pocket of her hoodie to retrieve a lighter. She then lit the fattest blunt in my stash, the one that I was literally saving for Christmas Eve to share with Dannie, holding it only with her thumb and index finger. Wide eyed, I watched her take a deep long drag and hold it for as long as she can.

Another flash of light from outside caught my eye. I remember thinking that the weather outside must be frightful, the lightning was nonstop. But before I can shift my attention to it, Carol Aird coughed her heart out, laughing.

“Good stuff you got here,” she managed to say to me in between coughs. “One of the oldest remedy for pain,” while nudging my side with her elbow and passing me the blunt.

To make the story short, yes we did share a blunt or two. Fine! It was three stick of blunts, okay? I have nothing more to really say to you. We didn’t talk because we didn’t see the need to do it. Side by side we were only slumped back on the sofa, silently passing the blunt at each other and sipping our beer. At one point, we just telepathically agreed to eat the take out that she brought with her. We ravenously devoured the burgers that were bothering me since the moment I sensed them.

We were on our third stick when out of nowhere she started laughing uncontrollably. The laugh came from her like a newly sprung leak - timid at first, stopping and starting.  It was a low laugh at first then it slowly gained momentum, from deep inside her chest came a great shaking motion and her face muscles grew tight.  I watched her in slow motion as she was clutching her stomach while waving her other hand in the air. Trying my best to control my impending outburst of laughter I asked her what’s the matter with her.

“Where the fuck is Oreo?!” she eventually managed to say while hysterically laughing. Her laughter was now more like a bust water main arching into the brilliant summer sky soaking everyone around her with unrestrained gales that debilitated her to a thigh slapping and pick faced picture of glee.

Suddenly, I was laughing so hard too that I can’t stop. I also waved my hand in the air, my flag of surrender, as if it will help me stop from laughing. I don’t know why, but the waves of laughter kept coming. I tried to catch my breath but snorted as result. We stared at each other wide-eyed, her shock from my accidental snort and the pain that constricted my face silenced us immediately. Though seconds later, I saw the way her smile started forming again, then deforming into a huge O, from which that magnificent sound came. It wasn’t just a sound: It was her expression, the way her face twitched, the way her eyes filled with joy, the tear that started coming down her cheek, how she had to gasp for air, her auto hug, like if this had waited years to be turned on.

I remember thinking that my death will soon be upon me if we don’t stop from laughing hysterically. As if sensing my worry, the grim reaper sent someone to burst through the front door making both Carol Aird and I almost jump out of our skin. 


	4. Chapter 4

Help me. I am stuck. I ran out of juice. I ran out of fuel. I am stuck and I need a big ass tow truck to pull all my shit out of this big ditch that I am in. I am in a quick sand slowly descending to its unknown core. I am drowning in an endless pool of doubt and self consciousness. I am in a point of my creative endeavor in which I pretty much exhausted all my “skills”, “creativity”, “imagination”, or whatever you want to call it. But hey, I can blame nobody but me, myself and I. Those 3 jerks put me here in my place and I want to rip their heads off! Well you can you can also blame the naked babe sleeping in my bed right now. She keeps me busy at all times... if you know what I mean. Wink wink. ;)

  
And now you wonder: what is up with all these ramblings?, What the hell is going on?, Is she going to kill her own se— Wait up. Alright? Nobody’s killing no one tonight, or in any night just to be clear! I am just in the middle of writing and I, you know, hit the wall. I am straight up staring at it in front of me, trying to find a way to demolish or scale it to be able to go to the other side. I mean, pleaaaase, I’m a fucking wildlife photographer who writes informative articles about gorillas, elephants, bullet ants, etc, every now and then to earn more cash! And you expect me to submit a write up about my week spent tailing and acting as a personal assistant to this A-list celebrity whose name and face doesn’t fucking ring a bell 2 weeks prior from these shenanigans? Yes, I’m talking to you Genevieve Cantrell! SHe is my editor, for those who doesn’t know who he is. Still don’t have an idea? Okay, let me back it up a little for you.

  
Ahmm, pet studio, Oreo, broken nose, and Carol fucking Aird. We were slouched back in the sofa when Phil came crushing and almost knocking down the door. I almost peed my pants because of the shock it gave me while Carol laughed at me saying I should have seen my own face. Her laugh was contagious that seconds later we were having another giggle fit. But Phil wasn’t in the mood that night, I can tell by his dumfounded expression and the uneasiness in his voice while asking if I happened to finish the session with Oreo. I remember my heart started to beat fast and a sweat rolled down from temples. I don’t know why but I suddenly felt embarrassed and guilty in front of Phil as I told him that the goddamn snake was missing. I watched his face grow red before apologizing, no, begging for forgiveness to Carol fucking Aird. He shouldn’t apologize to her, it was her fault that Oreo was missing! Phil almost kneeled before her until she gave him an assurance that everything will be forgotten if we find Oreo and finish the session.

  
Anywho, Phil and I spent the next 15 minutes looking for that goddamn snake inside the studio while Carol fucking Aird continues her musing with the lightnings outside. “Why is there no thunder? If that is lightning where is the thunder”, I remember her high as a kite ass asked us as she stares out of the window. When, finally, Phil found Oreo coiled up in a corner of the lobby, he told me that I should go to a hospital and let a doctor check my crooked and throbbing nose which I did. After bundling up and hiring an uber, I said my good byes to Phil and to Carol fucking Aird who just raised her hand as a dismissal. Did I expect her to hug me goodbye? Of course not! But there was a little teeny part of me that was hoping that she could have said a friendly good bye or at least a curt smile. What a fucking diva.

  
In the emergency room, the doctor told me that whoever tried to put my nose back to its place must be a person without an experience in such thing. I told the doctor that it was Carol fucking Aird and Contrary to what he just said, I think that she has done a marvelous job in stopping both the pain and the bleeding. The doctor gave me a look which was screaming a big loud “really?!“ and he was like “the Carol Aird?“ Then I was like, “Ahm. Yeah. Carol fucking Aird. You know her?“ The doctor chucked while saying that he wish that he knows her. His reaction baffled me but I didn’t give it much thought because he started to explain my injuries. And what do you know? Carol fucking Aird managed to break the bone of my nose by kicking it and she managed to cause more damage to the surrounding cartilages by “snapping” it back to its place. To make the story short, I had a minor surgery to revert my nose back to normal... and it cost me a million dollars! Well, not actually millions, just thousand but it felt like millions because of the fucking pain and the mockery from friends that it had caused! The doctor told me I can sue Carol fucking Aird for damages and milk money from her if I’m brave enough, but I was like, meh, I have insurance, let them pay for my instant “rhinoplasty” operation. But of course, the doctors just put it back to normal they didn’t enhance or anything cause if they did then it will cause me hundred thousands. And then it sunk in to me, milk money from her? Who the hell is Carol fucking Aird?

  
So I spent a total of 6 or 7 hours in the hospital. After the minor surgery they gave me an hour or so to regain my bearings and they let me off the hook. The doctor gave me pills for the pain and the swelling and warned me about the inevitable snot party that I will be having in the next few days. Before leaving the doctor, again, told me to at least talk to Carol fucking Aird’s representative to indemnify the expenses. I just gave him a meek smile and told him that I’ll think about it. Why is he so persistent about the money? I remember thinking. I am capable to pay my own hospital bills! I have a goddamn insurance and only responsible adults have one! Amidst the whiteness and coldness of the snow everywhere the sun was shining from above when I stepped outside the hospital. It’s warmth was nice. I heard my stomach gave out a loud and long growl. I was fucking hungry. With a large bandage over my swelled up nose I took off and hailed a cab.

  
During the ride I checked my phone thinking that maybe there were some frantic messages left for me asking me where the hell I was cause you know, I spent a whole night away in the hospital telling nobody where I was. To my dismay, my cellphone was drained of charge. I took out my powerbank from my bag but it was drained too. So much for carrying that bulky stupid brick! The cab driver must have sensed that I am in need of help so he offered his portable charger but I politely declined when I saw that we were near my stop.The traffic was surprisingly light that day so within a blink of an eye, I found the cab parked in front of my apartment building.

  
Outside my building I saw Tommy Tucker fiddling with his big ass video camera. You see, Tommy was one of our classmates in photog class who decided to take the low road for fast cash and became a full fledge, annoying, good for nothing paparazzi. If you are reading this and you are a paparazzi, come on, you can do much much better than that. Believe in yourself and listen to the people who says that your job is worthless cause it really is worthless! Anyway, Tommy usually just shows up every now and then just to hang out with us and to score free pizza. So, I was not surprised to see him lurking outside our building but what puzzled me was why is he outside? He can just buzz dannie to let him in. Is no one home?

  
I greeted him, warmly, and asked him why is he outside. He told me that he was waiting for me. Me? I wondered. Why? I have no clue back then. As I was rummaging my bag for my keys I saw Tommy raised his big ass video camera to his shoulder and started to record me. I asked him what’s goin on he just told me to “just go with it! I’m just practicing some new settings in this camera”. Writing all about it right now, I can see the absurdity of that excuse! And I can’t believe that I fell for that! I was already thinking that it was stupid back then but given the fact that he is Tommy, he do stupid shits all the time!, i just went with it.  
With the camera still on, he asked me what happened with my nose. I told him, while chuckling, “A woman named Carol fucking Aird kicked me right in my face... broke my nose and the cartridges around... I’m just praying to god to not let anything tickle my nose amd make me sneeze right now...” Asked me if already went to a doctor, i told him “yes. I did have a minor surgery.” He asked me the name of the hospital and my doctor, i answered him honestly. “Did she pay for the bills?“ I flatly answered no. He asked me if I’m gonna sue her. “What is up with all the suing?!” I answered back, fed up that even Tommy Tucker was asking me about suing. Tommy repeated his question. dismissively And with all the irritation that my face can reflect I answered, “Maybe.” He asked me another question about something but it didn’t register to me because he was getting on my nerves with all these questions. So I asked him if he was coming up with me to hang out with Dannie but he declined saying “something work related came up” and then he’s gone. I remember thinking who was the next Poor celebrity casually walking down a street of new york whose little piece of normalcy will be soon heartlessly feasted by the vultures armed with flashes of camera. I should have known better!

  
Upon entering our apartment, I noticed that no one’s home. Maybe they were all in the studio? I don’t know and Idgaf cause i was freaking starving! After raiding our poorly stocked cupboard, I managed to whip myself up a peanut butter sandwich. Not the preferred meal but it was sufficient to make me last until dinner time. After eating, i took my pills and took a bath. I was very careful not to get my nose wet. Then, I was knocked out in my bed until Dannie came bursting inside my room the next day.

  
“T, wake up! What have you done?” He was asking and shaking me repeatedly. I, on the other hand, was still in a deep daze that all I can manage was to give out a grunt. Dannie then grabbed me my robe and stood me up like a baby before telling me that someone was there to see me. It was at that moment when I saw fear at my friend’s eyes. I asked him what’s wrong he just answered me vaguely that it may be the end of my fucking career. “Why?” I asked him, “Did I somehow fucking killed an elephant?!”. “Worst,” he looked me dead in the eye, “You rattled the queen of the jungle!” Unsure on what he meant, I let him dress me with my robe. “If this is some kind of prank Dannie,” I whispered to him before we step outside my room, “I swear to god I’m flying out of here to god knows where and you’ll never see or hear a word from me for a year!”

  
Many scenarios of what was waiting for me in the living room were running in my head like Sister Alicia was there to pay me a surprise visit, or Genevieve waiting for me holding a termination letter or someone standing behind the wall waiting for me to pass by just to scare the shit out of me or just to pour ice cold water all over me and much much more. But none of them consist of seeing Carol fucking Aird sitting on my hand picked couch, sticking out like a sore thumb in the middle of our apartment. She’s wearing an all white suit ensemble that fucking stings my eyes because she was like emitting a fuckin a light or glowing of somekind! Her blonde hair was in a tight ponytail giving her a sexy executive look.

  
I asked her, “What are you doing here?”. Dannie answered that she brought her PR manager with her. It was then that I noticed that there was a woman standing at the other end of the room, as if she was just casually looking around. Obviously it was not an answer to my question, I rolled my eyes up, ofcourse the diva won’t fucking talk to me. I gave Dannie a look of confusion as if asking what the hell is carol fucking aird with her publicist doing in my apartment?

  
And here is the blow by blow stAtement of the pr manager that blew my brains off:  
Therese, can I call you Therese? I’ll call you Therese. I am Abigail Gerhard, you can call me Ms. Gerhard. Due to the recent story involving you and my client, Ms. Aird, which was blown WAY out of proportion. I would like you to release a statement to the media that everything was an accident, everything was exaggerated from the kick in the face to your animal rights activism. I would like you to reiterate to the public that you and Ms. Aird are in fact friends and both of you share love and devotion with animals. You should also refute the news circulating that you’ll be suing her... tell that the ambush interview was taken out of context. I’ll be checking your statement before you can release it, I’ll be leaving my details before we go. In addition, my client here is scheduled to visit the local zoo sometime next week with her child and we would like you to accompany them and write a good piece about it. I have already spoken to your editor Ms. Cantrell, so you can write about the animals that you guys will encounter. Please be aware that there would be photographers everywhere during the visit but try to ignore them and just go about the business. Blah blah blah blah blah... bull shit bull shit bull shit...

  
Are you lost? You don’t have a goddamn clue what is happening? Don’t fret my friend, I was just as clueless as you while Ms. Gerhard was telling me all the plans non-stop. Apparently, Dannie explained everything to me when Carol fucking Aird and Ms. Gerhard left the apartment, some paparazzi was following Carol fucking Aird that fateful night when she stopped by the studio. They snapped pictures of her throwing something and screaming at me while Oreo was in my hand. Compromising Photos of her were also circulated that looks like she’s stomping at Oreo on the ground. To make matters worse, they also have snaps of her kicking me right in the face. In addition, they also have photos of when she tried to fix my nose from an angle that looks like that she was just torturing me. And of course, different media outlets made up stories to go with the pictures putting the blonde in the bad light offending both women and animal rights activists. That’s not all, the traitorous bastard named Tommy Tucker published my “ambush” interview with a story pushing people to be sorry for me on how Carol fucking Aird badly treated me calling himself as an “insider”.

  
I know. This is all ridiculous! And who the fuck is Carol fucking Aird? Apparently she is a big A-list movie star that I haven’t heard of until now. She rose to fame because of her breakout role from a movie that premiered 10 years ago. Her movies were all critically acclaimed and box office successes. Think of her as Meryl Streep, if Meryl won every awards that she’s nominated with. Her product endorsements are in demand in every luxury brand you can think of. You can see her face in every fashion magazine and spreads. I know, i know. You are now asking how in the world I managed to live without ever knowing her face nor her name... As I said earlier, I only do Work - Sleep - Repeat and to top it all off, I was living at the other side of the world literally under a rock while trying to capture a picture of a colony of ants or a couple of rhinoceros fucking each other.

  
But amidst her fame, she managed to Garbo it up and kept her personal life private. She never done an interview neither in TV nor in spreads. Never done any promotional interviews for a movie. Capturing a picture of her in her normal routine is like an olympic game for paparazzi because it rarely happens. But if someone did catch her, the pay out is ridiculously high! That is why in just a span of 2 days shits already hit the fan. Every media outlet has dirt on Carol fucking Aird and my fucking broken nose.

  
Later that day, alone in my room, I took the card that Ms. Gerhard left me and dialled her number using my phone. I listen to the rings until she picked it up... “Hello Ms. Gerhard, this is Therese Belivet. I have a counter offer for you and your client...”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m on the roll baby!

Oh hey! You’re still here! So sorry about the long wait. Remember when I mentioned a sleeping babe behind me? Well, she is the reason why I got a little bit sidetracked. She suddenly woke up and demanded, yes she demanded, my attention for —uhmm, for certain tasks that I needed to perform. I will not go into details. Nope. Nope. Not now. Anyway, she’s now, once again, asleep in the bed behind me and I am stuck with you guys. Not that I’m complaining! No, no, no. No. I love it! So no. No. Ehem.

Where were we? Oh yeah, my counter offer. Oh shit, this is going to be long so stay with me okay? So I called Abby, err, Ms. Gerhard, and told her that I needed, no I demanded, for Carol fucking Aird to issue a public statement apologizing for the way she behaved and for tainting my oh-so clean name. In addition, she should say in her statement that my studio is one of a kind and that we offer very exceptional services. I mean, look, It may be bad publicity but bad publicity is still publicity. I read that somewhere and I’m pretty proud of myself for remembering it at that moment.

Anyway, You’ll never guess what Ms. Gerhard told me in reply… she told me to “Go fuck yourself Ms. Belivet” in a calm and almost friendly manner that it fucking scared me. Was I talking to a fucking psychopath? I surely don’t know, but I was sure of one thing, I will not fucking back down against this so-called PR people. So, I quickly revised my offer and told her to scrap mentioning the name of my studio and just issue a publicly apology for me. She told me, “You are fucking out of your mind if you think Carol Aird will issue a public apology for you. She won’t even issue a public apology for kissing the Queen on the cheeks!”

I know what you’re thinking right now, holy hell she kissed the queen on the cheeks??? How the fuck?! Apparently, they were in a gala together and Carol fucking Aird just waltzed through the security to lean in and kiss the Queen as a greeting. Bloody hell right? I googled any photo of that scene but I found none but there were many articles, and a petition that managed to get over half a million signature believe it or not, crucifying Carol fucking Aird and demanding her fucking apology. She didn’t issue any. Whatatotalbitch.

But clearly, after physically attacking me and fracturing my nose, she should issue a public apology for me. It is the human thing to do! If you hurt someone, physically or emotionally, you should apologize for your bad deed. Kissing the queen on the cheeks is very different from physically attacking me! You guys agree right? Well, I raised that argument to Ms. Gerhard. And guess what that bish told me.

“She will not issue any public apology. Period. Hit me again Belivet.” I rolled my eyes, I can sense that it was amusing for Ms. Gerhard and it was pissing me off.

I hope that you realize by now that I am a woman of principle. That I will fight for my own right and will not back down to any hindrances or barriers along my way. I will not fucking give in to this PR game that both Carol fucking Aird and Ms. Gerhard is playing. YES!

Well, no. You see, living alone and in different alien countries for almost my entire adult life taught me to stand by my principle… but it also taught me how to adjust and adapt to my environment. So, adjust is what I did! Once again, I revised my proposal on the spot over the phone and demanded for Carol fucking Aird to issue an apology to me personally. If she ain’t gonna apologize publicly she should at least say it to my face.

“Now you’re talking,” I could tell, even without seeing her face, that she was smiling and it somehow made me feel proud of myself. “I’ll let Ca— Ms. Aird know your demands.” Good. Cool. Cool cool cool.  
I almost forgot to mention to her that I will not issue any public statement too cause I ain’t a public figure. I’m just a tax paying, law abiding, private citizen of this country after all.  
  
“Is there anything else?” She asked me. I told her no, I have no more demands aside from the personal apology that Carol fucking Aird should deliver & no public statements for me.

“Are you sure there’s— ahm, nothing else?”

I squinted my eyes. It was rather suspicious don’t you think? The way she delivered her statement, the way she paused mid-way. My spidey senses were tingling and I knew that there’s something into it and that I’m not just reading in to it too much. So, I dangled my bait by saying, “Yes? Should there be anything else?”

Silence.

I held my breath as I was waiting for her reply. My phone was almost embossed to my skull trying to make out any sound on the other line. Then I heard some low voices and a faintest hint of chuckle on the other line but I wasn’t able to make out any words. Unable to endure the nothingness, I asked her if she was still in the line.

She cleared her throat before speaking and I noticed that there was suddenly lightness in her voice as if she was just laughing a few moments ago. “So personal apology only & no more statement from you.”

“Should there be anything else?” I definitely gave my voice an extra annoyed feels to it to send my underlying message that the conversation was not going the way I planned it to be.

“Okay. I’d be honest with you Miss Belivet,” FINALLY! “I really thought that the reason you’re calling me is to demand monetary compensation.”

Listen to that bish. I have money okay? I may look like a college student buried with student loans but I do have a savings account. I know that my apartment is shitty compared to their high-end, high-tech, high maintenance apartments but hey, my apartment is very— ahm, homey! My jeans may be tattered, my shirts may be old and my chucks may be worn, but, hey, they’re fucking cosy! So, no, I don’t need a single cent from Carol fucking Aird’s money…

Was what I should have said to Ms. Gerhard but instead I just let out a high pitched “No!” that only high school girls could produce. And it fucking hurt my still throbbing and visibly swelled nose.

“I meant no offense. I just told you what I thought. Anyway, enough chit chat. I’ll send you through this number the schedule for the next week’s photo op okay? Very well then. Good bye.”

The bish didn’t even wait for my reply before ending our call. How rude. Oh yeah, I totally forgot that photo-op thing, so I went and cursed myself for not bringing that up to her. Well, it was an official assignment from Genevieve and I was getting paid for it any way. Yaaaay for me!

Still with me?

See what I did there? Told you this is a long story. Anyway, let’s continue. The rest of that week was a snore. I just stayed inside my apartment sleeping and ordering fast food. “Friends” came by to check on me and my fucking nose. And by friends I mean, co-workers that I seldom see every year. Anyway, they told me that they were so worried about my well being that’s why they were visiting but I know, I can feeeeel it in my guts that they were visiting just to get a juicy gossip regarding Carol fucking Aird. One of them even wanted to get a selfie with me and my busted nose just to post it in social media. Imagine that! Whatadick!

It was exactly a week since the “incident” when I came back to the hospital for my follow up check up. By this time, the swelling of my nose had subsided and it fairly looked like it went back to normal. Except for a little rawness feeling to it.

When I approached the desk of the receptionist, I mechanically told them my full name and my doctor’s name and told them that I was there for my appointment. One of the receptionist who was dressed in a black business skirt suddenly approached me and told me that “They’ve been expecting you. Follow me, I’ll direct you to the room.” Odd right? Well, that was what my spidey senses were telling me that moment. Nevertheless, I followed that woman who was clearly not a nurse.

She led me to a series of corridors and staircases in the hospital that I’ve never been to. I even remember riding the elevator twice. I wanted to ask where she was taking me but I decided not to just that because I didn’t want her to think that I was thinking that we were lost. When she stopped in front of a closed door, I was panting a little. That woman walked fast. The woman knocked on the door before opening it but she didn’t set foot inside the room. She just quietly said “they are waiting for you” before almost pushing me inside.

It was a private conference room with a large rectangular table in the middle of it and a white board is covering one of the 4 walls encasing the room. There were 3 other persons in the room – my doctor, Ms. Gerhard and the cause of the rawness of my nose, Carol fucking Aird. She was seated at the head of the table with my doctor and Ms. Gerhard sitting on each of her side respectively. She was wearing her over sized sunglasses indoors again and she’s dressed in a perfectly fit grey suit which was fcukign sinful and sexy on her.

Both my doctor and Ms Gerhard greeted me and told me to join them. I was confused but I obliged and sat by my doctor’s side.

“So first things first,” it was Ms Gerhard. “Her nose. how is it doctor?”

My doctor just shrugged and said “Don’t worry about it. Her nose is fine. I heard that Ms. Aird her snapped it back. Tremendous job!”

Tremndous job? Tremendous job?! He was one of the people pushing me to sue her for ruining my nose cartilage. Her nose is fine? Fine?! That dick didn’t even bother looking at me nor my raw nose! He was staring at Carol fucking Aird whose presence was starting to irritate me.

“Doctor, are you sure?” As if she read my mind, Ms. Gerhard pressed on. Thankfully, my doctor faced me and intently stared at my nose as if he was Superman using his x-ray vision on my nose. After literally just three seconds my doctor just declared that “yep. She’s all fixed!”

“All right then. Thank you Doctor that would be all,” Ms. Gerhard dismissed him.

My doctor stood up from his chair and began shaking the hands of Ms. Gerhard while saying some pleasantries. He then shook hands with Carol Aird while saying “ It was very nice to meet you Ms. Aird. I’m a big fan of yours.I love your work. They are all amazing! You are amazing!” And of course, the blonde goddess didn’t say a single word and just gave him a big wide hollywood smile. when it was my time to shake his hands he just gave me a tight lipped smile before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. That bastard didn’t even give me a prescription or anything!

“Alright, now he’s out of our way, unto the important parts,” Ms. Gerhard declared then she went into the details on how we are going to spend the rest of the day. Im telling you, it was fucking ridiculous! She was like “at 10:25 you’ll be going out pf the main entrance of the hospital, 10:30 you’ll be driving out of the parking lot via Carol’s car. 10:50 you’ll be picking up Rindy in the hotel entrance, 11:15 you arrive in the zoo and please make sure that you 3 linger there a little bit longer for them to get the desired shots. Upon entering, you’ll have to go the penguins, sea lions, or anything in the ice world area cause they would be there waiting for you. Don’t ever, ever, go near the tigers. Okay? We’re already in some deep shit we don’t want any tigers to put more dirt on us. 12:20 lunch. By 1, you Carol dear would be petting a snake by the jungle entrance. 1:30 exit, 1:32 Therese’s cab will show up, 1:33 hugs and goodbye and by 1:35 Carol and Rindy will on their way home while Therese will be on her way to…uhm whenever she wanted to be.”

Ridiculous! I looked at them with my mouth gaping and my eyes wide as the ocean. What the hell is going on? And what ticked me the most was Carol fucking Aird was just sitting there listening intently to every word.

“What? Today is THE day of our deal?” Ms. Gerhard explained. “I sent you the schedule three nights ago!”

I immediately checked my phone and lo and behold I got no such thing!

“Really? I must have forgotten about to send it to you. Anyway, that’s not important,” that bish just shrugged me off!

It told them how can I possibly take the photos that they want if I don’t have my camera with me?

“We’ll just give you another camera to use for this day.” They’ll just give me another camera? They’ll just give me another?! PLEASE! I am in love with my cameras, I treat them like they’re my lovers, I am loyal to them! We’re like in a polyamorous marriage wherein we take turns making love with each other! I just can’t spend one whole day fiddling with another camera! Yes, I’m weird like that.

For the first time since I laid eyes on her, Ms. Gerhard was speechless in front of me. She was looking at me with a “is this girl fo real?” expression written all over her face.

Ms. Gerhard and I were having a stare down showdown when suddenly the blonde goddess graced us with her voice and asked “where are your cameras?” without any facial expression. I told her my babies were in my apartment.

“We’re going to drive by your place first to pick up your lovers,” Carol fucking Aird declared with a smirk. Ms. Gerhard then protested and said that there was no time we should follow the strict schedule blah blah blah. Then the gorgeous blonde stopped the rant by saying “her place is on the way to the hotel. It will be 5 mins tops Abby.” I can’t fcuking comprehend that I will say this but, yes, I agreed with Carol fucking Aird. That woman was making sense at that time.

And with that, Ms. Gerhard gave put a long sigh and nodded. “You guys have a lunch reservation for three in the zoo restaurant. They have this little paper animal hats you guys will put on. Carol yours is Lion, you Therese will be an elephant, while Rindy can choose whatever she wants except for Tiger of course. Anyway, they’re all waiting for you. Gave them instructions not to bother and remain their distance of course. Except by the exit of hospital, it will be a close encounter with them. Alright! That’s about it! Any questions?”

Oh, I fucking sure do have one! Where the fuck was my apology? I raised them that question, minus the profanities of course.

“What apology?” Carol fucking Aird.

“You know. Your apology addressed to me for, ahm, I don’t know, breaking my nose?”

“I fixed it! Your doctor even said that I did a tremendous job! You should be thanking me,”

Can you believe the nerve of that woman? I decided to stomp my foot on the ground and demand for her apology or else I will not participate in their ridiculous trip to the zoo.

“Geez Carol. Just say sorry. As soon as we finish this day the sooner you’ll be out of each other’s hair,” and I agreed with Ms. Gerhard.

“Alright alright. Fine! I’m sorry, okay? Are we good?”

“You can lose the attitude,” I told her.

She just flipped me off with a sarcastic smile. Jesus christ. Whatafuckingimmaturebrat.

Im gonna fast forward a bit here if that’s alright with you guys? I mean, the next thing that happened is kind of boring. We went out the conference room with heavy tension between us 3. We silently proceed to the main lobby of the hospital where Ms. Gerhard left us with “goodluck. See you on the other side.” Then a huge bald dude wearing a black suit walked towards us and greeted Carol fucking Aird.

“Are they out there?” Carol fucking Aird asked the bald dude.

“Yes ma’am,”

“How many are they?”

“A lot.”

I asked “They? Who’s they?”  
But like a wind who just passed by, no one bothered to answer my question. I repeated my question but Carol fucking Aird just ran her hand to her hair twice before proceeding to hold me by my arm and elbow as if she’s assisting an elderly. The bald dude, was walking a few arms away ahead of us, opened the exit door for us.

It was a fucking frenzy! Flashes and cameras were everywhere! Paparazzi and reporters were all shouting at our direction. There were also a few fans nearby who had gathered to support their idol! There were pushing, shoving, and shouting! But amidst of all the confusion and chaos, Carol fucking Aird firmly pushed on without uttering a single word. Amidst of all the pushing and shoving Carol fucking Aird held me firmly by my arm and there was this one time, I don’t know when, but I know that she pressed her body into mine! That Perv! Haha.

Anyway, just like a fucking hollywood star, she expertly maneuvered us through that frenzy crowd towards a black SUV that was already waiting just by the curb of the hospital’s exit. The bald dude opened the door for us, and Carol fucking Aird let me climbed up first, assisting me in every step of the way, before she leap up to the car.

“What time is it?” she asked me as we were waiting for the bald dude to enter the vehicle via the driver’s door.

I fished my phone from my pockets and told her that it was “10:28”.

“Right on schedule. So far so good,” by this time the bald dude has already shifted the stick to drive. “Tell him your address then. We need to get your cameras.”

I told the bald dude my address. The rest of the drive to my apartment was silent. And I really thought that this might be not that bad. If the blonde will just act this way for the rest of the time that we’re gonna spend together this might actually go well. I’ve never been so wrong my entire life. It was just the start of a looooooooong daaaaaaaaay one.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if I use too much profanities. I can mellow it down... kind of. ;)


	6. Chapter 6

Did I tell you that the rest of our ride was silent? I did right? Well, my bad! We were actually far from silent! To be more precise, Carol fucking Aird was far from silent! Ready for it? Okay, here we gooo.

I was freezing cold like Jack Nicholson by the end of the Shinning. You guys saw that movie right? No? What the hell?! You should watc— you know what, it’s not important. Back to the story! I was cold. I did mention to you how much I hate the cold right? So there I was, Freezing cold but my damn stubborn ass won’t accept it. I remember reading somewhere that if you’re cold, you should breath deeply and slowly so that you can preserve all the energy and heat that your freezing ass needs. So deep breaths is what I did.

Oh it fucking worked… kind of. Just After a few deep breaths my face was already burning with fire and it was not because of my body conserving all the energy and heat that it needed, it was because of her fucking perfume! How can a fucking scent of a perfume put my whole body on fire and at the same time make me shiver involuntarily?! I tried to ignore the scent and kept going with my deep breathing but shit, it was some powerful perfume she have there and it was making me a little light headed.

Unable to endure the ridiculousness of my situation, I decided to swallow my pride and to speak up. I was about to ask them if it was alright to turn the heat up but before I could utter one single word Carol fucking Aird said, “Hey Richard?” By the way Richard is the name of the bald dude but I’ll keep referring to him as “the bald dude” because that fucking bastard doesn’t deserve to be called by his name in this story. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself once again. Let’s continue. So Carol fucking Aird said while shedding her coat as graceful as possible, “Hey Bald dude? Could you turn down the heat and roll down a window for me please. I’m sweating here. Thank you.”

Down. Heat. Down. Window. Sweating. These words were flashing right in front of my eyes as the bald dude, obligingly, slightly rolled down the window by the passenger seat. I automatically hated that bald dude… and I still do!

Sweat. She was sweating. She was perspiring. Sweat! Perspiration! Not to be over dramatic but… I was about to die from fucking hypothermia and Carol fucking Aird was “sweating” beside me??!! You must be thinking, “ohhh maybe Carol fucking Aird was just kidding or maybe she was just exaggerating?” That is exactly what I was thinking too!

So what I did is I faced Carol fucking Aird, who was already comfortably sitting at the other end of the seat, to look for any sign of sweat or at least discomfort on her face. I saw that behind her dark oversized glasses, her eyes were closed and her head was slightly tilted upwards; she was obviously enjoying the cold air blowing to her face, and it gave me the courage to full blown stare at her face. And Oh! My! Goooood!

Her fucking jaw! Her fucking cheekbones! Her fucking chin! Her fucking side profile! Her fucking over all bone structure! It is perfect! She is perfect! If you could only see her in that moment, you’d be like “Mona Lisa who?” because I sure did forgot all about that eyebrow-less masterpiece! My words ain’t gonna do her justice guys, it would take a Da Vinci or a Michaelangelo to recreate that moment. She is a work of God! Just perfect! And when my eyes reached her lips, and oh trust me those bombs are as soft as they look, I saw some small beads of sweat glistening and silently mocking me right above it. I seriously cannot believe my eyes! Carol fucking Aird was fucking sweating at that temperature! There is only one reason behind this and that is Carol fucking Aird is the living and breathing Ice queen of Aslan! It was lightly snowing outside for fuckssake!

I don’t know how long I was staring at her but Carol fucking Aird must have sensed something ‘cause she suddenly opened her eyes and rapidly turned her head towards me. And like every fool who was caught staring, I snapped my head away from her and looked out of my window to feign ignorance, as if the speck of snow and dust on my window suddenly became interesting. But who was I kidding, ofcourse she saw me staring! And she didn’t waste another minute rubbing it to my face!

“You do know that it is bad for people to stare right?” Carol fucking Aird broke the thick silence between us and it made me face her. She was back to her position where her head was in the slightly tilted position then I uttered a silent and small “Sorry. I was just-“ to her and I thought that would be the end of it however Carol fucking Aird ain’t done with me yet. “So you agree? You were staring?”

I was speechless. Can you believe it? I was fucking speechless. She went on and said “I’ll hand you my headshot by the end of the day. It will last longer that way. I can even sign it for you too if you want. I don’t usually sign autographs but considering the circumstances surrounding our rela— _acquaintance_ , I could make you an exception.”

Sarcastic slow clap, clap, clap. This bitch is good I’m telling ya. This bitch is goooooooood! Carol fucking Aird may have the perfect facial structure, she may have a hot bod, she may have the most gorgeous face I have ever laid my eyes on, but she sure is a 100% total grade A bitch. I hate to admit this but I was caught off guard from her btichiness so I just sat there, silently shivering like a fucking chihuahua and slumped back to my seat trying to preserve as much heat as possible. I wasn’t able to say anything to her even after I rack my brain for a snappy reply and until now I still can’t think of an awesome comeback!

“You honestly don’t have anything to say back to me?” Carol fucking Aird pushed on with obvious amusement in her voice and a smile on her lips. Just Like a sore kid who lost in a game, I just shrugged and sighed deeply. “Did I somehow hurt your-your feelings? Ha-have I — Have I somehow offended you for staring at me?? Are you – Are you going to demand for my pu-pu-blic apolo—“ Carol fucking Aird couldn’t even finish her sentence because of her uncontrollable laughter.

I told you, she’s good.

I just rolled my eyes at her laughing state. I can’t think straight because it was fucking cold. The wind was battering my face with its harsh coldness. My fingers were all stiff, my nose was running, my teeth were chattering and I was literally shivering. It was all happening to me while Carol fucking Aird was just dying from laughter at her seat, clenching her tummy and slapping her legs repeatedly. Seriously, that woman have a weird sense of humor. I let her win that round but I’m telling you this war is far from over!

After her recovery from her laughing fit I heard her loudly and almost comically clear her throat. I don’t know if it was because she just have to clear her throat or she specifically did it to get my attention, whatever the reason behind, it surely caught my attention. I Seldom pray guys but I was praying and begging the lord and all of his saints at that moment to give me enough strength and patience required to endure the remaining hours that I was going to spend with Carol fcuking Aird. So I looked at her with an uncontrollable shivering chin and an “are-you-done-bitch” expression written all over my face.

Then, for some reason, Carol fucking Aird gasped as if she was shocked to see me there beside her. “Are you co— It was very insensitive of me. Could you roll the window back up bald du—“ but before Carol fucking Aird can finish her thought, the bald dude interrupted her with a firm “we’re here miss” while looking at me through the rear view mirror. Yes. I can proudly say that Carol fucking Aird was once concerned about my being!

I looked out of my window and I saw my apartment building door right outside. I told them that I’d be right back down with a shivering voice that will surely make Jack Nicholson proud of me then I mustered all my strength to open the car door and face the harsh cold weather. Christ, it was fucking cold! Right after stepping my feet to the concrete, I literally ran towards my building to seek the heat that my body longed for.

I’m going to fast track this part here cause it was just me doing menial things: Entered my apartment, no one’s around, went directly straight to my room to retrieve my camera, pocketed 2 extra batteries, added another sweater over my sweater and shirt ensemble, shed my useless winter coat replaced it with my ever reliable black thermal parka coat, wore my charming wool beanie, and wore my old leather gloves which was kind of a hassle to put on and remove actually but I still love it. Anyway, I was in and out of my apartment in less than 5 minutes! That must be some kind of record or something!

Feeling comfortable and confident, I was back out to the street with a spring on my step. Bald dude, who was waiting outside the car, opened the car door for me as soon as I stepped outside my apartment building. As I was entering the car I gave a meek smile and said “Thanks Bald dude”. As I get comfortable in my seat, I noticed that the window was already closed and the heat was turned up. I squinted my eyes. My spidey senses were tingling they were telling me something but I can’t seem to figure it out.

Meanwhile, even with her oversized glasses on, I can safely say that Carol fucking Aird was looking at me as if I was the missing link in the evolution of man. As I said earlier, I was comfortable, warm, and cosy again. I can feel my powers within me growing steadily, patiently waiting for the right time to unleash its wrath! So I looked at her with my eyebrow raised and tilted head to send my “why-you-looking-at-me-bitch” message to her while saying “You, of all people, should know that it is bad for people to stare right?” I watched her as she hesitated if she’s gonna speak or not, her mouth closing and opening several times. Yes! Yes! How I’ve missed this power! But my celebration was cut short when she, while still facing me, cold blooded-ly ordered the bald dude to roll the window down once again and turn the fucking heat off. I saw my expression through her large sunglasses and it was fucking pitiful – I looked like that I just saw my own murderer raise his knife up to kill me.

Wow. This is already pretty wordy and we only just covered the first 15mins or so of the car ride! I think My original plan of one day = one chapter will not be enough at the rate that I’m going. Too much mumblings don’ you think? Well, you can do nothing about it except to endure it cause I really have sooooo many stories to tell you guys. You just have to stay with me. Ready for more? Okay, let’s hit it!

Even though I was already bundled and wrapped up like a burrito, the cold wind from the rolled down window still sent shivers down my body. We were 3 minutes away from the hotel when I looked at Carol fucking Aird and I almost snorted at the scene that I saw – Carol fucking Aird was texting and she texts like a grandma! Her phone was placed on her left palm while her right index finger was doing all the work slowly clicking/pushing the tiny buttons on her cellphone’s screen. I silently turned on my camera and made sure the flash was off, without lifting my camera to my eyes, I hurriedly and discreetly took a picture of her texting.

I immediately looked at the preview on my camera’s small screen and was fairly satisfied by the result. I even captured the slight wrinkle on her forehead emulating that she was having a hard time with her technology. Oh if only I can sell that photo, I’d be thousands of dollars richer! But no, I am not just some low-life paparazzo who earns his living by exploiting a person’s vulnerable state (I’m fucking talking to you Tommy Tucker!). No! The picture is just for private and personal viewing only.

When we finally pulled up in front of the hotel, Carol fucking Aird didn’t wait for the bald dude to assist her and hurriedly opened her door with her coat draped around her arm. I watched her as she gracefully marched through a sea of Passerby and disappear behind the revolving doors of the hotel entrance. The few who caught a glimpse of her face were immediately starstruck, dumbfounded and rooted on their place – and I call them “the blessed ones”.

“The blessed ones” are the few chosen and worthy people in this whole world that Carol fucking Aird handpicked herself to bless with her own grace and witness her once in a blue moon apparition that she’s been gifting our undeserving world since the start of time.

Anyway, the blessed ones were like, “who the fuck was that?”, some were like “Is that really her?” while the others were “Oh shit. I should totally get my phone.” One by one, the blessed ones lingered in front of the hotel entrance, the others lingered by the car. And there’s one brave soul who fucking pressed his face to the window to see the insides of the car! Thankfully, the bald dude shooed him away. Not long after the blessed ones established their belief that it was indeed the almighty Carol fucking Aird, the “Limbos” came out to play.

You see, people who were not blessed by the presence of Carol fucking Aird are all in limbo, or as I like to call them “Limbos”. These are the poor souls who were barred from living their life to the fullest because of not having received the blessing of Carol fucking Aird. If a Limbo is attentive enough to his surroundings and is curious enough to eventually ask a blessed one what’s happening, then he is entitled to be either be a “Faithful” or a “Heretic”.

The “Limbo faithfuls” or “faithfuls” are the people who haven’t been blessed by the presence of Carol fucking Aird yet but they will patiently and wholeheartedly linger and stand side by side with the blessed ones just to get a glimpse of her. Meanwhile, the “limbo heretics” or “heretics” are the people who just shrugs off the word of the blessed ones and continue their day to day activity. Below, you can see a normal conversation between “Limbos”, “the blessed ones”, “faithfuls”, and “heretics”:

> Limbos: Excuse me, what’s going on?  
>  Blessed ones: Dude, I just saw Carol fucking Aird enter this hotel. She walked right in front of me!  
>  Faithfuls: Really?! Oh my god!  
>  Heretics: Pffftt. I call bull!  
>  Blessed ones: We’re going to wait here to see if she’s gonna come out  
>  Faithfuls: Okay, let me wait with you!  
>  Heretics: *walks away*

Holy shit! Did I just make the foundation of a religion, or at the very least a cult, with Carol fucking Aird at the center? It’s not even an integral part of the story! Oh geez. Just moments ago, here I was complaining how long & “wordy” this story is going and then, boom, I just dropped a nonsense lecture on “Carol-ian Apparition 101”.

In just a blink of an eye, there was already a crowd of blessed ones and faithfuls gathered in front of the hotel and the car. It was still fairly small compared to the crowd outside the hospital but the bald dude couldn’t possibly handle the size if they get rowdy by the time the divine Carol fucking Aird graces them with all her glory. By this time, 10 minutes had passed by since she went inside the hotel and every passing minute meant 1 additional faithful to the crowd.

Moments later the crowd went from 0 to cray-cray when Carol fucking Aird emerged from the rotating door with her signature over sized sunglasses and coat on, and a fucking child in her arms. I later learned that the child is 5 yrs of age and is called Rindy. As in THE Rindy who owns Oreo! Remember Oreo? The badass madafaking black and white milk snake? I was picturing its owner as a teenager full of angst going through a punk phase while rocking black eye liners and poor life decisions instead of an adorable little cherub. You can’t blame me for picturing her like that! I mean, seriously, what do you call an adult that would give a pet snake to a 5 yr old child?? Irresponsible adult, that’s what. And Carol fucking Aird is definitely one.

People immediately crowded the space between Carol fucking Aird and the car that even the joint forces of the bald dude and the hotel security can’t control them. What happened next was still unbelievable for me so I won’t blame you if you don’t believe me. As if she was Moses himself crossing the dead sea, I shit you not, Carol fucking Aird raised one of her arms by her eye level and started to wave and smile at the crowd mesmerizing and fucking hypnotizing them while carrying a child on her other arm. As a result the crowd peacefully split into two and made way for her. She didn’t stop to sign any autographs, she didn’t stop for any selfies, she just waved, smiled, and marched on without uttering a single word. I’m telling you, this bitch is good at what she does.

After opening the car door, Rindy immediately climbed up the car, followed by Carol fucking Aird. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that Carol fucking Aird and Rindy looks exactly alike so I deduced, ONLY at that moment, that they were mother and child. I’m slow at connecting the dots.

“Why is your nose so red?” the girl asked me immediately. As much as I wanted to tell her the whole story on how her mother broke my nose, I just told her my name. Ugh. It took me all my self-restraint not to shatter the image of her “loving” mother. “I didn’t ask for your name, I asked about your nose.” Like mother, like daughter. A bite-size Carol fucking Aird if you ask me.

“Snowflake be nice. She’s my friend, she’s going to the zoo with us to take pictures and her name is Therese,” Oh no, no, no, no we were sooooo far from being friends at that moment.

“Is she that kind of _friend_?” That kind of friend?? What kind of friend you ask? Ooooh, you’ll know later.

“No, she is one of my—uhm— _good_ friends that’s why she’s coming with us to the zoo,” pffft. Good friend my ass.

“But you told me that there would be no more of your friends and it would be just the two of us this time.”

“I know sweetie but Therese wants to go to the zoo so badly to see the penguins too. Just like you baby. We can’t possibly leave her, can’t we?”

“No we can’t,” then Rindy faced me and flashed her toothy grin. It was fuckign adorable and scary at the same time. “So Therese, why are you going to the zoo with us? Don’t you have any _boyfriieeeeend_ to come with you?,” the child teased.

I diverted my sight from the child and automatically met Carol fucking Aird’s intense face but I know, I felt in my bones, that behind those oversized sunglasses she was looking right back at me. Just using my eyes I asked her “the fuck is this? What should I do?” Then with just a slight tilt of her head, without uttering a single word she she was like“figure it out yourself.” And I was like “she is your fucking child! Can’t you just order her to stop interrogating me?” She leaned back on her seat and gave me a shrug which was equivalent to her saying “I’ve done my part, it’s time to do yours.” I squinted my eyes and threw my razor sharp gaze at her, “Bitch.” She ran her hand through her hair twice and audibly sighed before looking at me with a “just-answer-the-damn-question” written all over her face.

And that’s what I did. Told Rindy that “I do have a boyfriend but he was busy to go with me today that’s why I’m coming with you and your Mom. Sorry if I’m intruding. How’s Oreo by the way? Hope he’s doing fine with this weather.” To tell you honestly, I was fucking single during that time but why did I tell Rindy I was in a relationship you ask? Because I just can’t fucking admit to a 5 yr old child that I’m all alone. I just can’t fucking admit to her and to myself that if I was not with them during that time, I’d be probably sitting alone in my apartment with nothing else to do and no one to talk to. I was too scared to admit to myself that spending the day in the zoo with them was the only option I had for that day.

The rest of our ride towards the zoo was filled with Rindy’s stories. When we finally arrived we were welcomed by a rather large group of paparazzis waiting for our arrival. As we slowly pull over by the entrance, the paparazzis along with their cameras and rude behaviors, scrambled like cockroaches to their designated location to take our pictures..

Carol fucking Aird, without addressing anyone, asked “What time is it?” As she remove her shades to clean its lenses using the seam of her suit jacket.

I tried to get my phone out of my pocket but Rindy swiftly raised her digital penguin wrist watch to her face and declared “It’s 11:35. We’re 20 mins behind Aunt Abby’s schedule.” And I was like, woah, this kid is amazingly smaaart!

“No,” Carol fucking Aird smiled lovingly at her daughter and had already finished cleaning her shades. “We’re right on time,” Carol fucking Aird fucking winked at me before putting her shades back on again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if the phase is too slow for you guys. I can speed it up a bit. I had a rather fun time writing my musings that instead of moving it forward, I kinda strayed away from the story. Please tell me if the musings annoys you and if you just want me to get on with the story. Hope you enjoyed! ;)


	7. Chapter 7

I would like to explain my absence and say that I was busy with work but you and I know thAt i’d be lying then. So, let!s just start where we left off alright? Where were we? Zoo? We are only in the zoo part?? Oh boooooy, I am fucking sloooooow! I’m just gonna straight up tell you what happened during our visit in the zoo, kapish? Okay, enough chitchat. Here we goooo.

 The moment we stepped out of the vehicle the invited paparazzi immediately snapped their camera endlessly capturing our every move. I was thanking the universe and all the gods that the paparazzi were “decent” enough to keep a considerable distance from us. I tried to make myself as little as possible by walking behind the mother-daughter duo and keeping my head low. I didn’t notice when Carol fucking Aird stopped on her tracks to turn around and face me that I almost bumped into her.

 “Therese,” she called and reached out her hand for me to take. The big friendly smile plastered all over her gorgeous face caught me off guard. She never smiled at me like that. If you happened to remember, all she ever flashed me are sarcastic smirks and death glares. I was fucking stunned and rooted in my place that she needed to call me the second time for me to snap out of my trance. I quickly walked towards her and when I was within her arms reach she immediately snaked her arms to mine.

 “Are you okay?” she asked as we started to walk towards the entrance with Rindy excitedly skipping in front of us. I nodded, unable to formulate any verbal reply cause our close proximity rendered me speechless once again. Was I wrong to think that this ice queen is not capable to feel any human emotions? The thought that she cared about me gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Maybe she is not that bad that I think. Maybe she was already warming up to me. We may have started in the wrong foot but hey, I was already fucking impressed that she’s beginning to take the high road and starting to be friendly towards me. But, you know, sometimes the universe hates you enough to make you build up your expectations just to immediately shoot it down when you are about to feel good about it.

 “Then stop looking like you’re about to go to a goddamn funeral for fuckssake,” she gritted through her teeth still with a big fake hollywood smile plastered all over her face. I can’t fucking believe it that I rapidly unlinked our arms and stopped on my place as if her touch was burning my skin. To think that I almost believed that she’s capable of human emotions… I almost fell for her… I mean for her trick! I almost fell for her trick! I looked at her flabbergasted. “Smile,” she silently commanded her mouth barely moving. I squinted my eyes at her, and I know, behind her oversized sunglasses, her eyes were swirling with rage and anger.

 “Smile, goddamn it,” the Barbie girl commanded once again still with her fake plastic smile but this time, she did it with a tilt of her head, to look like that she and I were just talking about something interesting. “Don’t let me repeat myself,” she threatened.

 I wanted to roll my eyes so badly but I was afraid that the paparazzi will be able to capture it. There was a sudden surge of courage that flowed through me that made me mirror her. I tilted my head to the side and gave out the fakest smile ever produced in this world to mock the hell out of Carol fucking Aird. “Like this?” I said, challenging the sleeping beast.

 Carol fucking Aird tilted her head back and gave out a hearty laugh before linking our arms again rather forcefully. “Stop it will you,” she whispered as we started to walk again. Then she snapped and went all out on me, but, please take note that she said all of this with a fucking friendly smile on her face. “Do you think I enjoy this? Do you think I enjoy sharing my day with Rindy with you and the fucking world? This is my last and only day with my daughter, the next time I’m gonna see her will be next year cause she’s off to fucking florida for the holidays. All I wanted to do is to spend a day, a fucking day, with my daughter and I hate that they have to make this a fucking PR stunt. So grow the fuck up and stop being such a --- such a cunt Therese. I hate this as much as you do but with our circumstances, you and I can do nothing about it except to get on with it and fucking smile. At least until we get through the gates. Once we’re inside you can fucking mope around I don’t care but as long as we’re within the range of those goddamn cameras you’re going to fucking smile. ”

 I halted us in our place. For the first time I laid eyes on her, I felt pity. How many outings with Rindy did Abby made into a stunt? Fucking Abby. From now on, I will stop calling Carol, Carol fucking Aird. I’m gonna cut the woman some slack. Here I was thinking that this woman can have everything in just a snap of her hand but in reality, she is carrying a bigger baggage than I expected. I mean, breaking down to a complete stranger, me, with a perfect Hollywood smile on her face is pretty much hardcore man. Give that woman an Oscar for THAT performance!

 Feeling guilty and saying sorry is probably the response she’ll get from a perfectly normal adult, but she was talking to me. Me! So, I did what I needed to do. I fucking snorted and giggled, “you called me cunt”.

 “I did. I did call you a cunt,” she nodded her and giggled too.

 I told her that I can’t believe that she just called me a cunt and that no one ever called me one before.

 “Really? Not even your boyfriend?” she asked. Boyfriend? Why is she bringing up my boyfriend? Why would my boyfriend call me a cunt? And what the hell, I don’t even have a fucking boyfriend to begin with! I’m telling you, this woman is weird. Anyway, so I told her “Boyfriend? No, I don’t have one. And yes, you’re pretty much the first person who called me a cunt. You got some audacity calling me a cunt when you’re a grade-A bitch yourself.” We both chuckled.

 And then her voice got softer and she started fidgeting with her hair when she asked, “Then who was the guy who let us in in your apartment?”

 So yeah, she was talking about Dannie, but before I was able to explain who Dannie is, Rindy, who was already in the other side of the gate of the zoo, called our attention. “Mum! Why are you just standing out there?” the little girl called out.

 We didn’t realize that Rindy was already inside the freaking zoo! That’s good parenting people! Good parenting! Carol and I shared a surprised look with each other as if we were just in a trance that we managed to snap out of to realize that we were just standing in our places talking with each other. Then, with our arms linked, we started to walk briskly towards the gate with our mouth grinning as if we were school girls giggling about something. When we finally entered the premises of the zoo, Carol slowly unlinked our arms but before she completely let go of me, she softly squeezed my arm and smiled at me saying her thanks without technically saying the word. Uhm, how can I put this into words? Ah! We had another telepathic conversation of ours, she’s like saying thanks and I was like, nah, don’t worry about it. Anyway, the smile was definitely different from her big fake Hollywood one, this time around it was genuine and sincere that it immediately warmed my whole existence.

 Okay! Are you guys still with me? Finally! We are inside the fucking zoo! Nothing really happened there actually… Weeeell, our first destination was the penguins. Rindy was squirming and jumping from excitement that I really thought she was gonna pass out.  I managed to fly low in the first part of the visit, aside from taking pictures of the blondes, I managed to keep a respectable distance for them not to feel  I was invading their privacy. As we roam around the zoo, there were other visitors, or should I call them the “blessed ones”, who instantly recognized her. Most of them, were immediately stunned upon realizing that it was her, several will even call her name and say hi in which the star will politely reply with a smile  or sometimes she’ll say a “hi” back. One was even brave enough to ask for a selfie, and we all know that the almighty Carol fucking Aird doesn’t do selfies nor autographs. Oopps. Wait did I call her Carol fucking Aird again? Sorry, old habits. Anywho, even with an enthusiastic fan asking for a selfie, Carol managed to “politely” decline the fan by saying, “Excuse me but no selfies. I’m with my daughter, I just want to spend time with her, _undisturbed_.” A little snobbish and bitchy right? If she said that to me, I might flip out! But I don’t know what power she possess but the brave fan almost kneeled and kiss her feet to ask for her forgiveness. However, there was a group of teenagers who recognized her and instantly called her “Victoria” repeatedly as if they were mocking her. I don’t know what that means yet, so I just shrugged it off just like how the blonde shrugged them off.

 We were walking around the zoo for quite some time when we managed to reach the jungle part. Upon the entrance of the “jungle”, there was a booth wherein you can put a big ass boa constrictor on your shoulders and have your pictures taken. To tell you honestly, as a wildlife photographer, I strongly believe that animals belong to the wild and these kind of set-up wherein you can have a picture with a fcukign wild animal just for Instagram is pretty much savage for me. But of course, I can’t tell that to Rindy who was freaking excited about having a boa constrictor on her shoulder.

 “Look Mum! It looks like Oreo! But much bigger! Let’s go take a picture!” the 5 year old was jumping up and down in delight. Carol Aird, who was as whiter than normal, quietly told her daughter that there is no way that she’ll let a stranger put a 20ft. long boa constrictor on her daughter’s shoulder. “But you told me that we are going to take a picture and give it to Oreo as a present.” Then the mother replied, “I was not expecting that the snake will be THAT long, Rindy. And besides, it is pretty heavy for your little and ticklish neck.”

 “Fine. Help me carry it mum. You can have that part of the snake--” Rindy pointed to the head of the snake which was quite thicker than the rest of the body which is pretty normal cause the snake, according to its caretaker, just ate earlier that day. “--on your neck, I’ll have the tail,” Rindy pointed towards, well, pointed the tail of the snake which was relatively slimmer than the other side. 

 Carol Aird ran her hand through her hair, cleared her throat, and then removed her over-sized glasses to wipe it because it was misting. “Rindy, I—I--- You can—can go have a picture,” she can barely make an intelligent sentence as she was cleaning her glasses with her handkerchief. Then Rindy insisted that her mother should also be in the picture with the snake. “Please Mum, pleaaase,” Rindy begged.

 For the second time that day, I saw beads of sweat on Carol Aird’s upper lip. I even noticed some of her blonde hair sticking to the side of her neck because of her sweat. That was when I realized that Carol fucking Aird is fucking scared to take the picture with the fucking snake. I looked at her intently, trying to catch her eyes. And when she finally caught mine, we had another episode of our telepathic conversation. I tried to ask her if she was alright by merely flashing her a soft smile and a little tilt of my head. Then her eyes rapidly darted back and forth between my eyes and the snake, she was like I need you to help me, I can’t have that fucking reptile on my shoulders. My smile grew wide and then I nodded my head, I was like okay okay, I’ll help you but you owe me one. She squinted her eyes and was like whatever.

 Anyway, I moved closer to Rindy to tap the girl on her shoulder and I asked her if I can get a picture with her and snake too. There was a pregnant between us, she was like eyeing the every details of my face. Until she suddenly blurted, “Yes, of course Therese! Do you like snakes too?” Rindy was oblivious of my victory grin that I flashed towards her mother as I start a conversation with her. My plan was I’ll just fucking shower Rindy with random facts about snakes as I subtly usher her into position in front of the camera and have our picture taken with the snake. Easy in and easy out. No Carol Aird needed.

 But damn, Rindy is definitely one smart cookie cause the moment the zoo photographer was about to press the shutter, the girl suddenly realized that her mom was not in the position. The girl then started calling and begging her mother to join us.

 Carol Aird wore the sunglasses again before nodding her head as an answer to her daughter. “Okaaay…“ I saw her take a deep breath and gulp before making her way towards us. Upon reaching us, Carol Aird positioned herself by my side and not by her daughter’s. Why am I being sandwiched by the two blondes you ask? Don’t worry, I asked her that too. “Why are you by my side? Go stand by your daughter’s side Carol.”

 “The fucking head is at Rindy’s side. I will not fucking go near that goddamn head,” she gritted through her teeth.  Forget the classy, graceful and regal Carol Aird, that woman is a product of Hollywood. The real Carol Aird is the foul mouthed, naggy, and immature woman who repeatedly nudged me with her elbow while asking me to go to the other side because she wanted to be by her daughter’s.

 “Will you stop it?” I whispered and elbowed her back but her incessant nudging and nagging won’t stop. “Stop. I’m going,” I said as I remove the snake off of my shoulder and immediately placed it on Carol Aird’s shoulder. That instantly froze her whole body and shut her pipe-hole up.  It will be very convenient for me if I just happen to have a mini-snake pet that I can just whip out of my pocket whenever Carol Aird is being a bitch.

 Anyway, I positioned myself at the other side of Rindy and held the head in my hands. As soon as the zoo photographer clicked the shutter button, Carol Aird straightaway shrugged the snake off of her shoulder and walked away. Thankfully, the caretaker’s reflexes were fast enough to catch the animal before it hits the floor. 

 Rindy was overjoyed about the picture and she chatted me up right away while we were waiting for our picture to print. We talked about animals of course, it is very obvious that the girl is passionate about them. She was actually delighted when I told her the work I do for my living. She eagerly listened to my stories about the herd of elephants in Thailand, the colony of ants and beetles I documented for a year in the floors of the amazon, and blah blah blah. Then Rindy’s attention was diverted to a mini-bird show a mere steps away from the snake booth, where in a hawk was trained to catch everything its trainer throw in the air bullshit bullshit bullshit. Anyway, Rindy animatedly asked her mother if she can go watch it which the blonde agreed to if she promises to behave.

 I decided to sit on a nearby bench wherein I can still keep an eye on rindy and to rest my legs for a bit. I don’t have a healthy body okay? I don’t jog, I don’t take long walks, I don’t go hiking, yoga, or whatever new word they got for exercise. Don’t judge me! Anyway, not long after I took my seat, Carol Aird followed my suit and silently sat on the empty space beside me. Even with her oversized sunglasses I knew that her eyes were following her daughter’s every move.

 “Soooo, how was the experience of holding your first snake?” I asked her, trying to freaking break the deafening silence between us.

 “Terrifying, no thanks to you,” she scoffed.

 “I told you, it’s not that bad,” I said to but she was like, “What?” So I condescendingly explained to her that “Holding a snake is not that bad.”

 Then she replied with a “pffftt. Not that bad my ass” What did I tell you? Immature right? But then, I told her that if she listened to me in the first place we wouldn’t be there. Puzzled, she asked me to “get to your point Therese.” So I explained to her, if she touched Oreo back in the studio, she won’t be kicking me in the face and breaking my nose, no gossips to clean up. We wouldn’t be there sitting on a bench having that conversation at all if she just listened to me and touched or even just poked Oreo.  

 “Then _this_ is all your fault,” she blurted. How in the fucking fuck this shit became my goddamn fault? And damn right, I told her that word per word. Then she went a little something like this, “If you didn’t keep shoving Oreo in my face I would have petted that snake, I wouldn’t have broken your nose, and we wouldn’t be here Therese. Imagine the fucking shock registered in my face when heard her say that. The audacity of this woman! So, I stood up from my seat and was like “Listen up you ungrateful, narcissist, and one dimensional human being!!” I was about to rip her with my words when I was stopped with her uncontrollable laughter.

 “You should have seen your face! Oh my god, I can’t breathe! Help me!” she said in between her uncontrollable laughter and snorts. I can’t believe that I was staring at a crazy woman laughing her ass off on a zoo bench. “Fuck you Carol,” I spat out. I was about to leave her and walk out but before I even take my first step she stopped me by holding me by the wrist and telling me to sit back down.

 “Don’t leave me! I was just kidding! My god Therese!” she was still laughing her ass off. I sat back down and watched her as she clenched her stomach and throw a few slaps on her thighs and my arms as if I was the funniest comedian that she has ever met in her entire life. It took her a long time to recover from her laughing fit and when she was done I was like “Is that it bitch? U done laughing at me?”

 “That was the best laugh I’ve had in years!” She then removed her glasses and started to wipe her happy tears from her eyes. “Thanks for that,” she looked at me and smiled. And my god! All the embarrassment, anger, and confession that I was feeling were instantly forgotten when I found myself edging my face closer to hers, once again drowning in those twinkling deep grey eyes.

 And like an ignorant fool who can’t control any of my thoughts from spilling out I blurted out, “I like your eyes.” She raised her eyebrow as if she was daring me to explain myself further and that instantly snapped me out of my stupor. “They are beautiful,” I cleared my throat and continued “I bet they are the only thing that is _natural or real per se_ in your face…” Her eyes squinted and I saw a small twitching in her mouth that made me fucking spit-laugh on her face.

 “Jesus Christ!” Carol Aird cursed while she was wiping my spit out of her face. I was still laughing but I was trying to say sorry that I didn’t mean it and explained that I was just trying to control my laugh but it didn’t work and end up showering her with my saliva. I was too busy laugh-apologizing to her that I didn’t notice that she was also grinning and giggling like a fool like me.

 “Please tell me that you’ve atleast brushed your teeth this morning,” she joked. “Oh please, can you count all the work done in your face? Or do you need to borrow my hand because your ten fingers aren’t enough.” She replied with a nudge of her elbow. I don’t know what to say! We have this hot and cold relationship going on between us. One moment we want to tear each other’s head off, next moment we will be giggling like old friends. And yes, I know it is kind of weird! Even I can’t keep up with this outrageous set-up that we subconsciously have. Whatever. Let’s just continue and be done with this, soooo. Both of us were so engrossed with our back and forth disgusting banter that we didn’t notice that there was already a crowd of people by the mini-bird show.

 I was the first one who saw him emerged from the crowd, looking dapper as always. If someone asked me which Hollywood actor do I know the best that dude will be my answer. I think I have watched every movie he ever made. Not because they are good, his filmography mostly consists of action films, but because his movies, most importantly his acting, were all disgustingly trashy that watching them became a guilty pleasure for Dannie and me during our college days. I’ve never heard of any news regarding about him, all I know is that he stopped acting and went straight behind the camera and direct films. He’s pretty decent as a director, I’ll give him that. But it was much much more fun when he’s acting! Gosh, I can still remember the nights wherein the McElroy brothers and I got pissed off drunk because of the drinking game we made while watching one of his movie.

 Anyway, they all say that show business is a tight-knit industry so I thought that maybe Carol Aird knows this dude and she can talk to him to take a selfie with me. Dannie and Phil will definitely piss their pants from laughing. So, I turned to Carol Aird who was busy delivering a comeback insult when I interrupted her to point towards the man, “Hey, look! Is that---“. However, I was a little taken aback when the dude went straight to Rindy and lifted her to his arms. I was like, Oh good, Carol Aird definitely know this dude! I can have a selfie with him. Ha ha ha. Fuck my ignorance! Anyway, Carol Aird followed the direction where my finger was pointing. At first no emotions were registered in her face, she just squinted her eyes hard but after a few seconds she sighed and wore her oversized sunglasses again.

 “Hargess…” she hissed with venom enough to kill a full grown elephant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up!


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